英译诗歌 桥——和鸣月之《江南印象》（梁晨）

香格里拉

The Bridges

In Reply To The Impression Of the South By Tingfengmingyue

 

 

By Liang Chen

Tr. By Shangri-La

 

 

The Couple Bridges

What the heart-coupled bridges tie is  the hardships of tomorrow and the fascination of today

In the deep of the ripples unnumbered

There must be scenes that nobody ever visited

If not, why the willow mien is thickly hazed

If not, why the water grace is deeply misted

And if not, why your brows are tightly knitted

So close each other on depend

 

The Couple Bridges silent

 

But neither opens to the other the door of heart

 

 

 

The Broken Bridge

In the shimmer of the clouds and water, I will await you for another thousand years

In the shimmer of the clouds and water, the wind and snow sweeping the Broken Bridge has already got

older and older

Into the frosted South, I am holding an umbrella

The willow mien along the Su Causeway is with days flooded over

The encounter at the Isolated Hill is eroded by the running water

The Broken Bridge is set in the millennium legend from the teller

Where the stories between you and me, in time meander

On the bridge, I always wonder

When we meet once over

Will you call me Honey as ever

And  will I recognize you, Susian, my lover

 

The Two-dozen Bridge

The Two-dozen  Bridge is still standing, while your vertical flute tune is vanishing

 

The river is running through the bridge shadow, and once more such a distance near drawing

Making you rise with the moonlit waves once again as on the bridge the vertical flute playing

Yet, in the deep of ink, this life and the previous existence is veiling

A touch of hazing

In the moonlight shining

I can only follow the vertical flute tune into your innermost being

To feel your fragments rippling

In your vertical flute tune, the clouds, water, flowers and moon is approaching

Together with the Two-dozen Bridge standing

While you, are with your vertical flute tune gradually fading

 

 

 

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香格里拉

和鸣月之《江南印象》—— 桥

梁 晨

双桥

-----双心桥，锁的是明朝风雨，今朝迷情----

纹理的深处

一定有没有人到过的地方

不然，柳色为何深锁

不然，烟水为何深锁

不然，你的眉头为何深锁

双桥

就那么紧紧的依靠着

却不曾打开彼此的心扉

断桥

----云水光中，许我再等你千年-----

云水光中，断桥的风雪已经老了

我，撑一把伞，走进江南的霜色

苏堤的柳色被时光淹没

孤山的邂逅被流水侵蚀

断桥，被千年的传说安置

你我的故事，还在光阴中流转

站在桥头，我总在猜想

若，这次相遇

你，是否还会唤我一声，娘子

我，是否还认得出你是，许仙

二十四桥

-----二十四桥仍在，你的箫声已经远了------

流水穿过桥的影子，再次接近这样的距离

桥上吹箫的你，再次与月波浮起

只是，水墨深处，一点朦胧

规划了今生和前世

我只能

踏着月色，沿着箫声，进入你的心底

触摸你，波光粼粼的片段

云，水，花，月，在你的箫声中近了

二十四桥，在你的箫声近了

你，在你的箫声中渐渐远了

香格里拉

关于二十四桥，有两种不同说法，一说为扬州城内的二十四座桥，一说为一座桥，即吴家砖桥，亦称红药

桥，哪种说法权威，至今尚无定论，翻译时根据诗歌内容，从作者的观点，理解为一桥，故 “二十四桥”

的英文表达均为单数，如有误解，请晨晨指正

香格里拉

被系统逼的没办法，还原不回去了，只能把汉语和英语分开发了，很抱歉

香格里拉

太折磨人了，上传一幅图片，系统告诉我100遍字节超了，为了不超，俺一再将帖子紧凑，结果凑合完，

再传图片，不仅字节还超，还还原不回去了，系统不带这么欺负人滴

要哭了

香格里拉

第一首：

第六行 So close each other on depend 和第七行 The Couple Bridges silent 正常语序为 The Couple Bridges silent depend on each other so close 。

最后一行 But neither opens to the other the door of heart 正常语序为 But neither opens the door of heart to the other 。


第二首：

第一节第二行 Into the frosted South, I am holding an umbrella 正常语序为 I am holding an umbrella into the frosted South 。

第一节第三行 The willow mien along the Su Causeway is with days flooded over 正常语序为 The willow mien along the Su Causeway is  flooded over with days 。


第三首：

第一节第一行 The river is running through the bridge shadows, and once more such a distance near drawing 正常语序为 The river is running through the bridge shadows, and drawing such a distance near once more。

第一节第二行 Making you rise with the moonlit waves once again as on the bridge the vertical flute playing 正常语序为 Making you rise with the moonlit waves once again as playing the vertical flute on the bridge 。

第一节第三行 Yet, in the deep of ink, this life and the previous existence is veiling 和第四行 Yet a touch of hazing 正常语序为 A touch of hazing is veiling this life and the previous existence  in the deep of ink 。

最后一行 While you, are with your vertical flute tune gradually fading 正常语序为 While you are gradually fading with your vertical flute tune 。


以上句子均为押尾韵倒装

启钊

香格里拉 发表于 2015-1-6 14:44
关于二十四桥，有两种不同说法，一说为扬州城内的二十四座桥，一说为一座桥，即吴家砖桥，亦称红药

...

一般是指扬州的二十四桥：二十四桥明月夜，玉人何处教吹箫。应该是这里。

启钊

喜欢香格里拉的英译文，同时也欣赏香格里拉的眼光和品味，选择的文章极好，中式的桥，在英文的低吟浅唱里倍感浪漫典雅和悠远，非常好。

启钊

香格里拉 发表于 2015-1-6 14:45
第一首：

最后一行 But neither opens to the other the door of his heart 正常语序为 But neith ...

香格里拉总是这么精细的调整句子的韵脚，中译英要想全部押韵真的不是容易，好多译文为了押韵都改变了本意。但是香格里拉的译文不但保持了原文的本意，还在此基础上更增加了更多的渲染和浪漫，所谓锦上添花就是如此吧。

香格里拉

真不容易，终于把音乐折腾上来了 ~

中国古曲网在线试听的地址，不知过几天会不会过期打不开 ... ...

根据诗歌内容，本来打算上传箫版本的，可一听，太悲凉了，还是传一曲二胡版的吧 ... ...